One of my housemates from Lancaster came to visit me today! I wasn’t having a great day but I made the effort seeing as she had travelled quite far to see me. Lately I’ve had feelings of wanting to be by myself and not see anyone, because I am so tired I don’t have the energy. I hate people seeing me having difficulties, I am so used to being independent and feeling ‘normal’, and people have only really seen me like this (normal). So it’s hard for me to let them see me like this.
I couldn’t even pick up my hair straighteners this morning! What’s a girl to do?
8th April – party!
Yesterday I got invited to a house party tonight. I was really looking forward to it! But this morning I woke up with pains. I went into town for some fresh air with my brother, but because I was sat in the wheelchair I was really stiff when I came to get out. As the day wore on I didn’t get any better (not that I was expecting to). I’d suddenly lost my enthusiasm for going to the party, I didn’t want people to see me and start asking questions. The way I feel lately, I probably would have started crying. I decided not to bother, and so spent the rest of the night moping around and feeling frustrated at how restricted I am becoming.