Monday, 18 July 2011


I have been invited out!  Yay!  It is my cousin’s anniversary on the 3rd so we are going out for the night.  I can’t wait!
Mum doesn’t think it’s a good idea, doesn’t think it’s safe for me to go where people are 'intoxicated’ and wants to wait till I get the approval from my surgeon.  Ha! Like I am going to wait that long!  I know when I am ready, and I am ready now.
Mum told the GP she is worried about my appetite because I don’t eat much and have missed some meals now and then.  He is going to ring me in a few days.  I am mad about this, I don’t need to talk to anyone and my appetite is fine!


Mum cancelled the telephone consult with the GP – after I demanded she did.  I don’t need a chat!  I have nothing to say and even if I did tell him how I am feeling what can he do about it? Force people to come and visit?  Don’t think so.  So what is the point?
I just feel really wound up at the moment with everything that is going on, and because I get the impression people don’t care.  The GP says I bottle things up and need to let things out, and I do sometimes.  But I hate letting people know how I feel, especially if I feel down or am not coping very well with something.  I see it as a sign of weakness, I like people to think I am doing fine.  Things are easier that way, there are no questions asked, and people wont think all I do is moan, or that I do it for attention.  I’m not saying people do think this, but you never know, the odd person may feel it is attention seeking.  So I would rather the attention is not on me, which is why I say I am fine, even when I am not.

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