Monday, 18 July 2011

The day after

I gave up trying to go back asleep at 7am.  The people on this ward are really doing my head in.  One screams help all night for no apparent reason. I am so angry. I want to go home NOW!

I couldn’t face breakfast.  The morphine is making me ill.

The Physio’s came and showed me some exercises to do in bed. These are to strengthen my thighs and gluteal muscles, as they are weak from surgery and also weak and shortened from the way I walked years before surgery.  My Blood Pressure was too low for me to get out of bed so they came back later on when it had returned to normal.  When I got out of bed I felt dizzy and faint, but I managed to walk out of the room and back to bed again.

My hip was really uncomfortable today, no pain but it was aching a lot.  When I move my leg it feels like lead, so heavy and it is such an effort.  It takes a lot.

I got really agitated today and felt tearful.  I wanted my mum, who wasn’t allowed to visit until 7.30.  Things I couldn’t do made me feel frustrated and at one point I burst into tears when my drip got caught in my nighty and I got tangled. I was calling for the nurse who wasn’t coming, and I had had enough so I cried.

I had some visitors in the evening but I wasn’t really in the land of living when they were here, I was in and out of sleep and was really ill from the morphine. I felt guilty that I couldn’t be more alert or speak much; they had come to see me after all.  But I couldn’t help it.

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